


Sweet on You

by an0neemouse



Series: To Dye For [2]
Category: EXO (Band), Super Junior
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Banter, Comedy, Crack-ish, EXO - Freeform, Fluff, I'll Take Care Of You, M/M, Out of Control, Poor Jongdae, Romantic Comedy, Secretary Jongdae, Silly, Soulmate AU, a hot cup of steaming love, baker baekhyun, baker xiumin, hair color soulmate au, head over heels, inappropriate cakes, kyuhyun is a dick, lawyer kyuhyun, pre-to dye for, timid jongdae, to dye for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 23:11:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16168727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an0neemouse/pseuds/an0neemouse
Summary: Jongdae's boss needs a cake for a bachelor party.  Xiumin makes the best cakes.  Hilarity ensues.





	Sweet on You

**Author's Note:**

> A/N:  This one is a little flash back to how Chen Min met! Rated for inappropriate cake content.  Next part will either be Kaisoo or Hunhan.  Let me know in the comments which one you wanna see next!

“You need what exactly?” Xiumin asks a small smile playing around his mouth, huge eyes wide and expressive. It’s not the first time he’s been asked to make a cake in an inappropriate shape, it is however the first time he’s been asked by a very cute man with cheekbones so sharp he wants to see if he can get cut on them and a streak of green hair that exactly matches his own. 

Jongdae blushes to the roots of his hair. “I’m so sorry. It’s for my boss.”

Xiumin looks up sharply from the little book where he writes down orders and chokes on an incredulous laugh. “You putting in your notice and looking for a – uh tactful – way to tell your boss he’s a dick?”

The blush staining Jongdae’s cheeks darkens to a startling shade of vermilion and he stumbles over himself trying to explain. “No! I work in an office- I mean- my boss is cool. Well, most of the time. He really is a bit of a dick but he’s a cool dick if you know what I mean. I’m an executive assistant and sometimes my boss forgets I’m not his personal secretary for- you know- personal things.” 

He looks desperately over the display of cakes and pastries, anything to avoid the amusement sparkling in those gorgeous eyes trained on him. He had expected to walk into the bakery and find a fat old dude in a puffy white hat and figured he could handle ordering a penis-cake from a guy like that. But this guy – he’s got a hat on that covers his hair entirely but that’s where the similarity to his imagination ends – he’s gorgeous. Well muscled without being over the top, beautiful sharp eyes, and a gummy smile just cute enough to off-set his otherwise stunning looks. 

“And your boss needs a penis-cake?” Xiumin clarifies feeling more than a little bemused. This was definitely not what he expected when he got up this morning. 

“He’s pretty young.” Jongdae says as if this explains everything, which of course, it doesn’t at all. If anything it just creates more questions. 

“Which is why he needs this cake.” Xiumin says slowly trying to put two and two together and coming up with twenty-seven. What the actual hell? He’s so confused. His eyebrows scrunch trying to figure it out. “What kind of office do you even work at?”

Jongdae flails. He’s doing a horrible job of explaining this. “A regular office! The cake is for his best friend. He’s getting married. Kyuhyun – my boss – he’s a bit eccentric. He thought it would be funny to get his very straight best friend a penis-cake for his stag party.”

Oh. That makes sense. Well, sort of. It doesn’t quite explain why this Kyuhyun guy thinks his secretary should be the one to order such an offensive cake but it explains why such a cake is being ordered in the first place. Xiumin’s pretty sure making your employees order cakes in the shape of genitalia would give even the most level headed human resources representative a colossal headache, but whatever. Work is work. What does he care? He clears his throat and tries to put on his best professional look. “So – uh – anything special about this cake? I mean, do you need any particular details? Or just a generic penis-cake?”

“Uh- my boss would like it to be a generously endowed penis-cake.” Jongdae mumbles wishing the floor would open up and swallow him whole. Maybe he’ll get hit by a bus on his way back to the office. Jongdae sincerely hopes so. At the very least he’s gonna order Kyuhyun’s coffee in decaf for a week for making him do this. 

“So...” Xiumin tries to think of a delicate way to phrase his question and comes up blank. Goodness, this is awkward. “Ah – should it have a – erm – longer shaft? Or – um – big balls?”

Wow that fairy cake in the display case is impressive. How does one even make fairies out of frosting? Or are they made of cake? Why couldn’t Kyuhyun have ordered his own damn cake? “Go with big balls. Just – make it ridiculous and my boss will be happy.”

“O-kay.” Xiumin says making a note on his order form. “What name should I put on the order? And when do you need this by?”

“Better put my name on it. It’s Jongdae. ” Jongdae says now examining the tasteful wedding display on the other end of the counter. It’s no wonder really that Kyuhyun said he should come here, the work is beautiful. And Kyuhyun had been sure to tell him the cakes taste phenomenal. But why oh why did the baker have to be so damn attractive? He wishes he could see his hair. “Is tomorrow too short of notice?”

“I’ll have it done by noon tomorrow, is that quick enough?” Xiumin asks calculating how long it will take to bake, chill, shape, and frost this creation. He might be able to get it done faster if Cheek-bones here insists he needs it sooner. 

“That will be just fine.” Jongdae says digging in his pocket and pulling out the card Kyuhyun had given him for his personal expenses. “Here.” He thrusts it out so the other man can take it. “Can you charge it on this?”

~*~

“Hey Dae?” Kyuhyun says into the intercom connected to Jongdae’s desk later that afternoon. 

“Yes?” Jongdae saves his work and presses the button that allows him to respond. “What can I do for you?”

“I’m sorry to be a pest, but do you have any ibuprofen?” Comes Kyuhyun’s tinny voice through the little speaker. “I’ve got a brutal headache.”

For just a second Jongdae wonders if he should relent and let Kyuhyun have some caffeine but then he remembers the feeling of embarrassment hot and heavy in his stomach and he strengthens his resolve. “Yeah, I’ve got a bottle. Just a sec, I’ll bring it in.”

“Thanks, Dae. You’re the best.” 

~*~

“Hello!” Xiumin greets in a bright voice when he hears the bell over the door ding announcing the arrival of a customer. He doesn’t look up from what he’s doing, he’s got three more flowers to place and then this anniversary cake will be finished, he can’t afford to mess up now. “Baek? Could you get that?”

“Sure thing.” Baekhyun gratefully sets down the cookie scoop that had been cramping his hand and moves through the wide open doorway separating the front of the shop from the back. Wiping his hands on his apron he pastes on a smile for the customer standing on the other side of the glass display case. “What can I do for you?”

“Uh-” Jongdae had expected to deal with the same man as before, hadn’t even realized there was a second baker. He glances over the pretty man’s shoulder and sees the man from yesterday bent almost double over an attractive cake covered in delicate little flowers and soft pastel colors, with the bold words ‘Happy Anniversary’ sprawled across it in attractive looping icing. He’s not wearing a hat today and Jongdae feels as if he’s been kicked in the gut by what he sees. Green hair with a single black stripe. He ordered a penis cake from his soulmate? He wants to shrivel up and die. Instead he squeaks out his purpose, forcing his eyes to focus on the man in front of him and not bulge right out of his skull. “I’m picking up a cake.”

“What’s the name for the order?” Baekhyun asks oblivious to the other man’s struggle, shuffling through the little stack of slips by the register. 

“It’s Jongdae.” 

Before Baekhyun can grab the appropriate slip and match it to the correct cake Xiumin finishes what he’s doing and straightens up, huge gummy smile in place. “There! Done!”  
Baekhyun looks over his shoulder at the cake Xiumin just finished. “Looks good, Min. Mr. Pyo should be happy with that.”

“I sure hope so.” Xiumin says coming over, smile growing when he sees Jongdae. “Hey! You’re back! I half expected you not to come back for it.”

“I was tempted to make my boss come pick it up.” Jongdae mumbles fiddling with his fingertips, anything to do but look at the gorgeous man in front of him. The gorgeous man who just happens to have hair exactly the same color as the strip in his own. 

“What stopped you?” Xiumin asks taking the slips from Baekhyun and pulling out the appropriate one. He hands it back to him so that he can go get the cake while Xiumin chats with Jongdae. 

“I like my job.” Jongdae tells him though at the moment he can’t begin to fathom why. 

“Here it is!” Baekhyun announces coming back up from the back carrying a long white box. 

Jongdae is relieved to see the box has a matching lid but his relief turns to horror when Baekhyun stops at the counter and carefully removes it, revealing for him to inspect, a very anatomically incorrect and ridiculously proportioned penis complete with smooth pink icing all along the shaft and balls and a fluffy fountain of the same shooting from the tip. 

“What do you think?” Xiumin asks gummy grin growing the more red he sees Jongdae’s face become. “Think your boss will like it?”

“Whose dick did you use for the model?” Baekhyun asks craning his neck a little so he can see his coworker’s handiwork. “This is a pretty nice looking dick.”

“My own of course.” Xiumin tells him with a hugely over-exaggerated wink. He flicks a glance at Jongdae’s flaming face. “So, what do you think?”

This feels like a trap. A weird, embarrassing trap designed by the universe to ruin Jongdae’s day. He clears his throat and tries to pretend he hasn’t just about swallowed his own tongue, tugging at his suddenly too tight collar with one long finger. “It’s – uh – nice. I mean, I like it – shit – that’s not what I meant! I mean – it’s a good cake – I just – oh God kill me now.”

Xiumin and Baekhyun are laughing uncontrollably. It’s Xiumin though who finally pulls it together enough to offer his poor uncomfortable customer some reassurance in between chortles. “You’re fine. I mean, it’s not an exact replica-” Okay, maybe he’d tease a little more. “Mine’s bigger. But it makes a decent cake.”

Jongdae thinks his eyes are going to bug right out of his head. “I – uh – I should get back to work.”

Taking pity on him Xiumin puts the lid back in place and slides the whole thing across the counter for Jongdae to take. “Well, since you paid when you ordered, it’s ready to go.”

“Thanks.” Jongdae mumbles taking the cake and turning for the door, intent on beating a hasty retreat. Kyuhyun will be drinking decaf for a month for this. Shit, he’ll be lucky if he ever gets caffeine again. He’s at the door when he hears Xiumin’s bright voice calling out behind him. 

“Come back soon!”

~*~

“Oh this is perfect!” Kyuhyun says with a huge smile when Jongdae has finally made it back to the office and delivered the cake. “Sungmin is gonna have a heart attack.”

“I’m glad it’ll work.” Jongdae says stiffly wanting nothing more than to return to his desk and go back to work but Kyuhyun is standing between him and the doorway, the cake open and on display between them. 

“Isn’t this just perfect?” Kyuhyun asks gesturing to the cake. “I wonder what made him think to have it this long.”

Jongdae thinks of Xiumin saying it’s modeled after his own dick and the blush that’s been ever present just under his collar rears it’s head again. “No idea.”

“Well it’s perfect.” Kyuhyun gives a little shake of his head and finally lets the lid fall back into place. “Did you pick up a new bottle of ibuprofen? This headache just won’t die.”

“I’ve got it here.” Jongdae tells him pulling the little white bottle out of his pants pocket and setting it next to the cake box. “If there’s nothing else, I’ll go back to work.”

“Wait.” Kyuhyun says looking around a little lost when Jongdae moves to skirt around him. “You didn’t bring back any pastries?”

Oh shit. “I forgot.”

“Oh Dae!” Kyuhyun whines momentarily forgetting that he’s supposed to be some hot-shit lawyer and instead acting like a toddler denied his favorite snack. “I need one!”

Secretly Jongdae thinks Kyuhyun’s butt and thighs could do with a few less pastries but he doesn’t say that. Instead he says, “Maybe Amber could pick some up on her way in?

“But she’s not here until two!” Kyuhyun tells him seriously going around his desk and settling in his chair. “It’s not like I’m not paying you for running around. Couldn’t you go back and get me a couple goodies?”

There is nothing on earth that Jongdae wants to do less. “That seems like a waste of resources when Amber is coming in in just a couple hours.”

“Daaaeee!” 

Jongdae grits his teeth against the whining, patience wearing to a swift end. “Fine! I’ll go! God, you’re a child.”

~*~

“Back so soon?” Xiumin asks in surprise when Jongdae walks back into the shop less than an hour after leaving in the first place. “You didn’t accidentally smush the cake, did you?”

“No.” Jongdae grumbles too irritated with Kyuhyun to be embarrassed about having ordered a penis cake earlier. “My boss wants pastries now.”

“He really does forget you’re not his personal secretary, doesn’t he?” Xiumin says sympathetically. “Sounds like he’s a bit of a dick.”

“More like a spoiled child.” Jongdae huffs looking over the counter full of assorted pastries. “He didn’t even tell me what he wants. My luck I’ll get back and he’ll say I didn’t get the right thing.”

“Did he give you a limit of how much to spend?” Xiumin gives his own counter a cursory glance. There are bear-claws and danishes, brownies and cookies, croissants and sweet breads, and even a couple donuts that somehow survived the morning rush. 

“No.” Jongdae shakes his head and rolls his eyes. “He doesn’t care so long as he gets his snack. Besides, he says your stuff if the best. I think he’d spend a fortune for one of your donuts if it was the last one.” 

Xiumin smiles at the compliment, eyes scrunching into happy little crescents. “Take him one of everything then.”

“One of – no – I can’t -” Jongdae pauses, thinking it over. Oh yes he can. After everything Kyuhyun’s put him through in the last two days? That’s exactly what he’s gonna do! He’s gonna spend a small fortune and take him one of everything. “Better do a couple loaves of bread too. I wouldn’t want to short him anything.”

“I like the way you think.” Xiumin’s eyes sparkle with mischief and he begins putting together a box for Jongdae to carry the goodies in. “Just give me a minute. I’ll get you set up really nicely.”

Jongdae laughs. “You’re amazing. Thank you.”

~*~

When Monday rolls around Jongdae feels he’s almost had a long enough break from work to go back. Two days is a long enough break to be away from Kyuhyun. Maybe. Either way, it’ll have to be. He marches in to the office, giving a cursory glance to see if Kyuhyun has miraculously made it in before him. Of course he hasn’t. So he settles in at his desk and sips his coffee, taking the quiet minute to get his day started. 

He’s been at his desk typing up an appointment reminder for Kyuhyun when the man himself walks in, breezing past Jongdae’s desk with a blearily muttered “g’morning.” Getting up Jongdae grabs the coffee off the corner of his desk that he had picked up for the other and delivers it to Kyuhyun’s desk, plopping the cup down in front of him with an over the top greeting knowing the other is bound to be hung over from the weekend’s festivities. 

“Oh God, thank you.” Kyuhyun groans snatching up the coffee and taking a big swig. “Caffeine helps with hang-overs, right?”

“How was the party?” Jongdae ignores Kyuhyun’s question in favor of asking his own. Secretly he thinks that there’s no caffeine in Kyuhyun’s coffee to help him anyway so there’s no point in answering. “Did Sungmin like his cake?”

Kyuhyun chuckles a little but then he grimaces as if laughing hurts his head, which Jongdae figures it probably does, and takes another sip of his coffee. “He loved it. Said I was the dick.” Kyuhyun scrunches his face and tries to hide it in his hands, as if pressing his palms against his eye sockets will take away his headache. “They loved the pastries by the way. That was a good idea.”

Jongdae think’s he’s messed up in reverse again. Here he was trying to be a little shit and Kyuhyun thinks he did a good job. Damn it all. “So the party was good?”

“Yeah.” Kyuhyun finally moves his hands and rubs at his temples. “Hyukjae ordered a couple strippers. I haven’t partied that hard since college.”

“Sounds like fun.” Jongdae lies plucking the memo out of the printer and sliding it in place in front of Kyuhyun. “You have an appointment at ten with a new prospective client. 

Try to pull it together by then. This could be a very big feather in our cap if you can land this account.”

“Oh God.” Kyuhyun whines pushing the memo away and laying his head on the desk. “How can I think about stuff like that when I feel like I’m dying?”

“It’s not my fault you partied all weekend.” Jongdae tells him immovably trying to slide the memo back in place so that it bumps against the ridge of Kyuhyun’s nose. “Eat something, brush your hair, and pull it together. We’ve got work to do.”

“I don’t have anything to eat.” Kyuhyun grumbles sitting up so Jongdae will stop bumping his nose. “Who’s the boss here anyway?”

“You are.” Jongdae says immediately in a tone that heavily implies he doesn’t mean it. He switches tack with the memo and starts hitting Kyuhyun on the face forehead with it. “I just make sure both of us still have a job at the end of the day.”

“Very funny.” Kyuhyun snarks but finally takes the memo if for no other reason than to stop Jongdae from hitting him with it again. “Why are you being so mean to me?”

“Maybe because you made me order a cake in the shape of a dick.” Jongdae shoots back over his shoulder as he walks away. All he needed was for Kyuhyun to take the memo, his work here is done. 

“Wait!” Kyuhyun calls after him but then gets up to follow when he sees that the secretary isn’t listening to him. “Speaking of the cake. Any chance you’d go to the bakery and get me some donuts? Donuts are good for hangovers, aren’t they?”

“No.” 

“C’mon.” Kyuhyun leans over Jongdae’s desk, sees his sunglasses sitting there, and scoops them up, popping them on his face. “I really need some donuts.”

Jongdae snatches the glasses back. “No. And leave my glasses alone.”

“But my head hurts!” Kyuhyun whines crossing his arms and pouting. 

“Not my problem.” Jongdae focuses all his attention on his computer, clicking open his email. “I’ve got work to do.”

“Please-”

“No.” 

“Why are you so mean to me?” Kyuhyun frowns not quite ready to concede defeat. “Are you on your period?”

“I’m a dude.” Jongdae dead eyes him. 

“Then did you meet someone?” Kyuhyun presses, half dead brain struggling to figure out why Jongdae is so darned grumpy right now. It’s pure luck that he’s actually looking at   
Jongdae and notices the light blush that stains his cheeks at that even though the secretary does his damnedest to stare stonily at his computer. “You did! Did you meet your   
soulmate?” He gets a sudden idea and his face brightens. “Wait! Was it the baker? Is that why you’re mad at me? I made you order a penis-cake from your soul-mate, didn’t I?”

“I hate you.” Jongdae tells him not looking away from his computer screen. 

“You should love me!” Kyuhyun tells him smiling brightly. “I’m giving you a chance to talk to your soul-mate! Hell, if it weren’t for me, who knows when you would have met your soul-mate!”

“I wouldn’t have met him over a penis-cake, that’s for sure!” Jongdae glares. 

“I promise I’ll buy you a really nice wedding present some day.” Kyuhyun tells him happily, hangover forgotten. “And if you go get me donuts I’ll be sure to nail this account too.”

Jongdae sucks in a steadying breath and lets it out through clenched teeth. He pushes to his feet. “Fine. I’ll go. But only so I don’t have to listen to you any longer.”

“You’re the best, Dae!” Kyuhyun tells him bouncing over and giving him a really awkward one-armed hug but letting go after only a second because Jongdae immediately starts swatting at his face. “Say hi to your boyfriend for me!”

“I hate you.”

~*~

“Back again?” Xiumin asks grinning toothily at Jongdae the minute the secretary walks into the bakery. He wipes his hands on his already dirty apron and walks up to the counter, giving him a once over. He looks good enough to eat, dressed to kill in a well fitted suit, dark hair brushed forward and fluffed up in front, dark green streak standing out prominently making his eyes sparkle attractively. 

“Yeah, I needed to get away from Kyuhyun for a minute.” Jongdae tells him with a shy smile. He enjoys the eccentric baker, finds it easy to talk to him despite the awkwardness of their first meeting. “He says your donuts are the best.”

“You’ve never had one?” Xiumin asks. When Jongdae shakes his head in the negative he goes over to the display and uses a tissue paper to grab a chocolate frosted one, hands it over. “Here. Try one.”

“Oh. Thank you.” Jongdae takes it and takes a bite and instantly melts. “Oh my god!” He exclaims around the bite of fluffy sweet in his mouth. “This is amazing!”

“Thank you.” Xiumin inclines his head, blushing a little. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Kyuhyun’s right.” Jongdae takes another giant bite. “You have the best donuts.”

“I’ve got good other things too.” Xiumin says giving the other an over-exaggerated wink. 

Jongdae blushes to the roots of his hair and busies himself taking another bite of donut. “I can believe that.”

“You know,” Xiumin says slowly, grabbing a box and starting to fill it with a variety of donuts, “that streak of green is awfully familiar.”

“You noticed that.” Jongdae lets his eyes flick to Xiumin’s dark-green hair, the dark streak of black hanging over one eyebrow. 

“Hard to miss it.” Xiumin tells him fighting a smile. “How many donuts do you think your boss wants?”

“A dozen or so.” Jongdae scarfs down the last bite of his donut and wishes there was more. “Damn, that was good.”

Xiumin’s eyes crinkle beautifully and he smiles hugely. “So are you gonna ask me out?”

Jongdae chokes a little. “Would you want me to?”

“Try it and find out.” Xiumin challenges handing over the box now full of donuts. 

“Okay.” Jongdae licks his lips nervously, eyes flicking one more time to Xiumin’s green hair just to confirm that it’s the same as the streak in his own. “Can I take you out to dinner?”

“I get done at six.” Xiumin grins beatifically. “Meet me here?”

~*~

“Here’s your donuts.” Jongdae says setting down the box in front of Kyuhyun. There’s only half a dozen in there now, but Kyuhyun will never know the difference. 

“You’re happy.” Kyuhyun observes flicking open the lid on the box and surveying the donuts inside. “Did you get a date?”

“None-ya.” 

“None-ya?” Kyuhyun parrots.

“None-ya-business.” Jongdae tells him moving quickly for the door. 

“Did you eat some of my donuts?” Kyuhyun asks frowning into the box. 

“Might have.”

“Now who’s the asshole?”

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Comments are love. Let me know if you want to see HunHan or KaiSoo next! Love you all, my darling readers!


End file.
